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Assembly of Dust

Assembly of Dust

"Assembly of Dust"

While I don't really believe in destiny, that all sorrow I've swum through was already oceaned up in some decathlon of misery, it does at times feel as if I had black balloons of hurt tethered to my soul for as long as I can remember - and shiny bright balloons, red I would guess) of a happiness also bobbed amongst them but, goddamn, they were few but they were bright. One of the first cartoon artists I ever met (that encouraged me anyway) was Vaughn Bode' and unlikely accomplice as our styles are polar opposites, his being very cartoony and mine more reality based. I was 14 and the week I spent with him changed everything I knew (or thought I knew...) about comic story telling, red balloon. He hung himself 8 months later. Big Black balloon. Vaughn tried to explain color theory to me but it was like math to my juvenile mind; red is for anger, blue is for sad, yellow is Sunday, grey is Monday.... 30 years I understand the concepts he tried to teach me, and I think of colors when remembering emotional events. Kind of like those delicate color sand sculptures you see at art shows and Indian reservations, layers of color, sometimes, only a few grains thick, sculpting abstract landscapes, sunsets... A lifetime of experiences, thoughts, relationships portrayed in an assembly of dust. In my innocence I asked Vaughn what did he think happens to all of our life's ideas, loves, moments of joy, pain? Did they just whisk away, sand in the wind? No, he said, they float around in the air, sometimes for years, waiting for the right person to think them again, to assemble another life in an assembly of colored dust. Brandon, like Vaughn, was a big fat shiny red balloon in my fools' parade of life. As long as we love them no one ever really dies.

"Real Love is forever"

J.O'Barr
Pastel and Ink
On smoke colored paper

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