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This Perfect Day

This Perfect Day

"This Perfect Day"
Sold on Ebay auction, Dec 13 for $396.05
11x14, Zig Millenium pens on Bristol Board.

"All of November seemed sad and drained of life to me; try as hard as I could the grey fog of sadness would not lift. I try not to blame these moods on manic/depressive episodes (but I am) or dwell too much on my failures (but I do) and I just push ahead until the sun breaks through the silent storm of melancholy... It may be a seasonal thing. The holidays are incredibly sad for me and I try to prepare myself for their arrival. The few people who love and support me help a great deal but I always seem to be on the verge of tears, the mass of anguish gets harder & harder to choke back. I literally feel like I'm swallowing hurt pulled out of the air like cigarette smoke in a crowded bar. Probably the most unhealthy thing about this is that it is a comforting place. I know it so well, all the shades of grey and the wind swept dead leaves and the aluminum sky, the icy breeze, the first snow already filtering down, down.

This drawing is my remembrance of the place where the real Shelly is buried. I haven't been back there in so many years in fear that I will drown in tears. It is a sad and beautiful landscape all lush green lawn, white marble. There is a place called the "Garden of the Lambs" where are the children are buried and it is a place of unbelievable loss; tiny grave markers for children that lived a few years, a few days, a few hours, some not at all. Some did not even live long enough to be named "Baby Johnson" "Baby Smith"... It only just dawned on me, Shelly died in late October and was buried on the first few days of November, I don't know if that makes it ok to be sad but it does explain it I guess. Other artists ask me 'what I draw with' and the answer is my head and my hand, but mostly my heart. The grave marker directly to the right of Eric reads "Love will tear us apart" and ICB (Ian Curtis Buried) which are nods to Joy Division and New Order, both songs of incredible sadness and desperation and a major influence on me while creating The Crow. I resist putting my signature on one of the headstones as I plan on living forever."